I'm here to inform you today that there are 3 food items that no human being should consume and allow passage into their body. Though there are more than 3, these items are specifically harmful to one's health and inhibit proper digestion. In order, as follows:
Splenda: While I have tried to make the switch over to this "healthier" substitute for sugar, it's been discovered that upon the substitution, everything that includes such a substance begins to taste like it as well. Example: ice cream. How can you mess up ice cream, you might ask? A worthy question. I answer with a shocking discovery: ice cream made with Splenda is disgusting. Suggestion:
Sauerkraut: "cabbage cut fine, salted, and allowed to ferment until sour" Any food product that is fermented and/or sour is not only bad for your system, it's downright gross. Once this stringy-like vegetable is added to, let's say, a sandwich, it cannot be removed as can pickles or other items and still be edible. No, the smell and taste contaminates the entire meal until you choose instead to steer clear. No amount of ketchup can cover for this one.
Swiss Cheese: the least aweful of the three, swiss cheese still makes the list. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that it had sauerkraut flavor mixed in when I attempted it, but there's still something not quite right with a food that tastes like rubber. Granted, I've never tasted rubber before, but if I did, I know it would taste like swiss cheese.
Be forewarned, friends.
You, my friend, are one odd duck. I agree with Splenda and somewhat on the Sauerkraut. However, there are definitely worse things than Swiss Cheese. This I learned in Africa and while eating the ham logs at camp (as well as some of the other random items that they passed as food).
It was all "food", Kruse. Some of it just expired and/or unrecognizable.
Ham salad will certainly live on in our memories...and never be touched again.