My greatest fear in moving in somewhere by myself was not what you might think. If was not fear of being alone, though that was a biggie. It was not the fear of not having someone else to blame the dirty dishes on, or even fear of the overwhelmingness (new word!) of living in a place like Dallas all by myself. The greatest fear was that having a place by myself would foster immense selfishness. Granted we are all selfish by nature no matter how hard we try, but in living with roommates (whether it's someone you're married to, an older woman with an annoying dog, or a college buddy), there is an essence of not having the opportunity to have your way all the time.
In his book Blue Like Jazz (great book, go read it), Donald Miller writes, "When you live on your own...you begin to think the world belongs to you. You begin to think all space is your space and all time is your time." It's true. There is much to be said for living in community with others.
So it has occurred to me this week, perhaps more than before, that I've grown way too selfish lately. Much of this comes with the unemployment as of late and having each day to read, run, and come and go as I please. I've gotten so caught up in this job search and all that surrounds it, that I forget how other people are facing huge battles much greater than mine. We all encounter big struggles in life, no one is exempt from Satan's attacks. And I think sometimes he attacks those that we thought were the strongest all along.
And so, my attempt to remove the all-invasive self has begun. And if you're facing big struggles, I hope I have not been so absorbed in me that I have failed to be there for you. And I hope we can all remember that no matter what comes our way, there is always someone facing far worse who needs someone to lean on.
"If we are not willing to wake up in the morning and die to ourselves, perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are really following Jesus." -good ole Donald
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