I can remember clearly the first time I got on a roller coaster. Or perhaps I should say the first time I was FORCED to ride one. Sea World. The Great White Shark coaster. State band trip junior year. That time when certain unnamed individuals literally picked me up and strapped me in for the ride. Me yelling, and I don't yell often. A scary trip of twists and turns. And ready to do it all over again by the end of the ride. The fear had been conquered.
Life has certainly been like a roller coaster ride lately. That's the greatest comparison I can come up with I guess. Freelancing is great in theory. Make your own schedule, pick your assignments, leave if you don't like it, pay is great. But downside is the inevitable waiting in between times, not knowing if you'll go 24 hours or two weeks before the next assignment. And so here I am in that up and down spot.
I've thought much about the fact that perhaps nothing full time has been thrown my way because God is wanting me to have flexibility right now. To be able to meet someone for lunch, to volunteer my time at will, and to be able to take off for a weekend when desired. And I'm starting to like this possibility. It could work out nicely to freelance through the summer and see what options I might be able to explore then. Cause I'm tired of thinking "I'll commit/do that when I have a full time consistent schedule and know what I'll be able to do." Seems like that's sorta backwards from how it should be. We're not guaranteed more time here, right? So this complacency and putting things off has got to go.
But the hard part are the off days. Should I be doing something completely different or just wait til the next assignment comes along? And so, I'm rushing down that huge hill right as you've just gone over the top of the Titan, time passing you by so fast that you don't know what's going on, can't see the bottom but know you'll hit it soon, wanting the ride to be over so you can get your senses back, yet enjoying it all the same, just flat not knowing what to do with yourself.
Post a Comment