Sitting

5:30am and I wake up to our even-louder-than-normal neighbors frantically talking outside my window and water gushing out of somewhere unknown next door. Gushing. 5 minutes after being fully awake, it was decided that I should not pursue the morning run on the chance that the water was shut off when I returned, and I have to meet people and at least not smell bad today. Sure enough, I had just enough time to wash my hair in the barely dripping sink (it was already disconnected upstairs) in the downstairs bathroom before the dripping subsided completely. And so my morning was derailed a bit, and I, instead of dragging myself around the block, took a few moments to sit and read and just "be". And low and behold, I find that I need words and thoughts and feelings to just resonate and sit with me and fill me up.

So I'm sitting with my already twice-reheated coffee soaking in the swirling thoughts, about to dive into the craziness that I know will be today – the ringing phone, a meeting or two, spreadsheets, emails, and lots of sweet pictures of the kids in Ghana that always make me want to give more than I sometimes think I have and sometimes really do have. I would like to write more, maybe about that, maybe about something entirely different, but it's hard to justify "sitting" for very long – quite a foreign concept to me. But I will acknowledge this morning that the time has been nice, and say that to those of you who think I'm crazy for drinking out of water bottles more than I do drinking glasses – I had enough water in bottles in the fridge to not only make coffee, but to also brush my teeth this morning.

Steal a few moments today to take some time and just sit.

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"I get stuck because I try to map out every dip and turn, try to write an ending, literally and figuratively, before a beginning even exists."

"I imagine God noticing all the things about me that should get fixed up one day, and loving me anyway and being okay with the mess for the time being... In my best moments, when I calm down and listen closely, God says, "I didn't ask you to become new and improved today. That wasn't the goal. You were broken down and strange yesterday, and you still are today, and the only one freaked out about it is you."

"We were made to represent the love of God in each other's lives, so that each person we walk through life with has a more profound sense of God's love for them."

           – all from Shauna Niequist (in her brilliant little book, Cold Tangerines, which my friend Juliette told me about, and you, dear reader, will hear more about later)