30.
Whatever this dreaded fear of joining the 3-0 club is, I'm not getting it. I guess there's the reality that things are starting to break down, and I'm craving 10 hours of sleep at night instead of 6, and the appeal of filling life so full that it's hard to breathe is starting to lose its luster. But aside from the obvious, I'm actually quite excited about a new season, about leaning into the next few years.
There's a freedom that comes with feeling as if you know a little bit more of who you are at the age of 30 than you did at 20. And there's a freedom that comes with the acknowledgement that though you never fully stop growing and adapting and learning, you've done enough searching and digging and molding for enough time that it starts to feel as if it counts. There's a freedom that comes from feeling stronger and more confident and being able to release the idea that you have to have it all figured out and instead start to really live into who you are at present, who God created you to be. It's a gift.
So here I land, three weeks into 30, and I have been poured into so much in that time.
30 thoughtful little gifts from my family. Tasty cupcakes from a dear friend. Beautiful flowers from some of my very favorite littles. Cake and sweet prayers from my ComGroup.
And then these:
"Happy happy 30th birthday dear one! I LOVE my thirties. I pray you will continue to stretch into the full potential of who God made you to be."
"May the Lord grant you a year of unexpected gifts."
"Happy birthday friend! Hope it involves a bowl of ice cream as big as your face!" (by one who knows me a little too well!)
"So thankful for your friendship and praying today will be full of love and blessings. Hopeful for the good things to come in year 30!"
And on and on. And those words are exactly what I think everyone should hear most on their 30th. Words of encouragement and excitement and "the best is ahead".
I also stumbled upon this as I was forming these thoughts. It's raw and it's real, and I don't feel like the anti-aging parts represent me at all, but it speaks of being known and loved as we are, and I am soaking in these lines:
The point is that your life is meant to be spent.
You have to let your life wrinkle. You have to let hope get into the fold of things. You are here to be spent. Saving yourself up isn't how the saved are meant to live.
There are days in which I toy with the idea of a safe, contained life, of this "saving myself up". A normal schedule, a larger budget, an 8-5 job. Career success in artistic endeavors. Owning a nice home. Buying furniture that actually matches! A nice, clean, cookie-cutter existence does at times appeal. But when I compare those things to this "me" that I know, well, there's no real comparison at all. (Read: NOT a knock on those who choose those things; it's just not me.) I am unconventional, I am appalled at white picket fences, and I would feel trapped working 8-5 in a high-rise office building and attaining a larger-than-life paycheck. But this idea of spending life, of using life, of growing and aging into who God created us to be – that I can get behind. The idea that it is enough to just be known – by ourselves and by others.
Life is meant to be spent!
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
• Women's 5k: In just 3 weeks, we'll host the Girls Just Want to Have Fun 5k here in BCS. This is the first race of the BCS Marathon Race Series, and we could not be more excited to kick things off. The chocolate fountains are tested, champagne glasses ordered, and race sold out with 1000+ runners. Costumes are in the works, and it's going to be a blast!
• Guinness: Right on the tail of the 5k is our 4th Annual Guinness World Record Event – 61 hours of baseball spanning April 4-7. A group in St. Louis currently holds the record at 60 hours, so we're aiming to take that record for our own and in the process, raise money for our work in Ghana. How lucky are we to get to be apart of something so fun, to do things like this for "work"?! (I think this daily.)
• Swimming: I am learning to swim. To be clear, throw me in a lake, and I'll stay afloat. But I have this great plan to complete a Sprint TRI before I turn 30 this summer, and my abilities are severely lacking. My friend Rebecca is teaching me some good technique, and I am now the proud owner of a 25-swim punch pass at the local aquatic center. Apparently, I detest sticking my head underwater. Detest. It freaks me out in an "I-feel-like-I'm-going-to-drown" kind of way. Here's to open water swimming by July. As for now, show up at the pool next week, I'll be the one rocking the Spiderman kick board. No, really.
• Quidditch is real! I know there are a lot of fictional creatures and spells and such in Harry Potter, but not the captivating broom game. It's totally real... sans flying. I watched A&M take on LSU in a tournament the other day, and let me just say, it's pretty much the coolest thing ever.
• Girl's Getaway: A few weeks ago, 6 of us skipped town for the evening and went out to Camp Tejas to have some time away to rest and regroup and just hang out together. Highlights of the excursion? The beautiful Barn area and a Saturday noon picnic. Love!
Where's the fun in staying at home a single weekend of the month of January? There is none, I say!
Last weekend I hit the road to Dallas, bound to have some time with the girls and meet Little Lee for the first time. I stayed with Amber Friday night, and we ran the Snowman Shuffle 5k at White Rock Saturday morning. Pretty hysterical: somehow my bib got switched, and I ran under someone by the name of Courtney. I thought something was amiss when they announced me as her as I crossed the finish. It was certainly confirmed when my bib number was posted with her name and info on the results. My time was not stellar enough to mess with contesting, so Amber and I headed out to go make pancakes. Turns out, Courtney I won my age group and could've been the proud owner of a special race snow globe had I stuck around a bit longer. Ha! Memories...
Spent the day Saturday with this little guy!
He is such a sweet, sweet baby. Kathleen and I discussed all things Baby Mitchell, caught up on life, grocery shopped and made up some freezer meals, and sat down to a tasty dinner complete with Duck Dynasty. Such a good day.
I went to The Village on Sunday morning, and really enjoyed being there for worship. The few other people I tried to rendezvous with didn't quite make it, so I headed to check out the new park on Woodall Rodgers, Klyde Warren. Such a cool space; I was way impressed. Children's area with really unique play spots, dog park, green grass with tables and chairs scattered around, fountain areas, a library and game space, croquet, ping pong, putting green, food trucks, and on and on. It was pretty darn crowded, but I guess that's what you get on a sunny, 70 degree day in the middle of January.
The park also boasted a row of food trucks, which I didn't think much about until I saw it: the ice cream truck. #29 on my 30 List just so happens to be "buy ice cream from an ice cream truck". I couldn't resist. And let me tell you, it was some of the best ice cream I've ever put in my mouth. Spent a few hours reading, journaling, and walking around before heading back to CS in time to regroup for the week ahead. 
What a lovely little weekend.
Back. Blogging break of the century, or at least it feels like it. What it doesn't feel like is Christmastime. It's like 80 degrees today. Guess I won't waste time asking Santa for snow.
What a heck of a month. A good month. It's been crazy and non-stop and intense, but it's been so fun all at the same time. I'm still amazed that I'm doing what I am, with the people I am. Don't get me wrong, we are all exhausted and ready to regroup going into the new year, but it's been a good season in so many ways.
Here's a bit of life leading up to the marathon:
• Girl's Night at my place with the ladies in my small group – an evening of colored cake in a jar. We wrecked the kitchen and had a lot of fun in the process.
• A quick trip to Dallas (like... 10 hours round trip) for Kathleen's baby shower. Seriously one of the coolest showers I've ever been too, and I've been to my share. Safari animals, omelets and fruit, and fun gifts for Baby Lee. What an honor to spend time with my sweet friend – who looks amazing! – and is going to be a fantastic Mom. Kathleen and I met at CotH in 2004 and became good friends in 2006. Roomies from 2007 until she and Matt got married, and still best buds. What a joy to share life together! I can't wait to meet the new little one!
• An update from Ghana... the final fish cage went in the water at Adovepke last month. The 24 rescued kids remain at the shelter and have even been visited by some of their parents as they prepare to make the transition home. I can't imagine what that must've been like for them all!
• Some of our sweet friends and MP supporters put together an Amazon wish list of items we'd like to take to the rehabilitation shelter for the kids to use – art supplies, educational items, etc. I checked the mail after race weekend and had 15 packages waiting for me! Another 6-8 have arrived at my house since then. There are still several items on the list if you'd like to send a few things to Ghana for the kids. And how are the kids? This:
I've mentioned a brilliant little book I recently finished, Cold Tangerines. My entire copy is now full of starred paragraphs and sentences, thoughts leaking out into the margins that I want to read over and over again, that I want to take a deep breath and soak in. I think should I ever write a book, this is the style I would like it to be in: quips and quotes and run-on thoughts that simply can't be contained within the confines of grammatical correctness but that instead overflow from each page into the hearts and minds of the readers.
Eh, one day.
For now, some thoughts on friendship from the book:
"Friendship is acting out God's love for people in tangible ways... It is an opportunity to act on God's behalf in the lives of the people that we're close to, reminding each other who God is... We get to remind one another about the bigger, more beautiful picture that we can't always see from where we are... True friendship... happens when we drop down into that deeper level of who we are, when we cross over into the broken, fragile parts of ourselves. We have to give something up in order to get friendship like that. We have to give up our need to be perceived as perfect. We have to give up our ability to control what people think of us. We have to overcome the fear that when they see the depths of who we are, they'll leave. But what we give up is nothing in comparison to what this kind of friendship gives to us. Friendship is about risk. Love is about risk. If we can control and manage it and manufacture it, then it's something else, but if it's really love, really friendship, it's a little scary around the edges."
It's like making 11 phone calls back and forth just to finish a conversation when you keep getting cut off, perfecting the cinnamon roll recipe and finding as much joy in the making as the eating, a 30th birthday party and staying late because the company is just that good, grilling in the rain just to share a new food, the final two minutes in a soccer game, hanging out all morning at Autozone because sometimes you just need a sidekick, and not being able to imagine life without these moments.
My compadres and I camped at Lake Whitney in Hillsburo, surprisingly the only tent campers in our area behind the RV spots. Come to think of it, that's likely why we were the only ones there. That, and I choose isolation over crowded lake-side sites every day of the week. Any PC folks remember this camping trip to Lake Whitney?
Ironically, that was one of the coldest nights I've ever camped... ever. We kept the same fire going all weekend and hardly strayed 10 feet from it except to play so many Nerts games I lost count.
Anyway, Amber and I perfected our ziploc bag omelet-making skills on this trip; we also tried out pizza skewers which were absolutely amazing. Sausage, green pepper, pineapple, and pepperoni on a skewer wrapped in cheese and crescent roll, cooked on the campfire and dipped in pizza sauce. Yes, please. Those will be making a comeback. We then drove in to Cameron Park (about 30 minutes) for the day on Sunday.
Cameron Park is truly one of my new favorite places. We hiked in the morning while it was still "cool", found a few geocaches, and then spent the afternoon running through a Splash Pad with 6-year-olds and playing disc golf in the shade. By "playing", I mean that I launched a piece of plastic about 10 ft each throw. Let's just say I have some practicing to do on that. I did, however, redeem myself in multiple games of Jungle Uno that night as we waited for brats to grill.
I was looking back through my last few blogs posts and thought, "where have all the pictures gone"?! No one wants to just read rambling rants with no photos! So I will work on that, starting.... now. These are all Amber's pics, but I'm gathering inspiration. Here's a little outing the girls and I went on last month – our last camping trip (and maybe only, yikes!) of the season. It was still pretty warm, but we had a great time anyway.
Met out at Fort Parker about halfway between Dallas and BCS for a weekend adventure. There are adventures in which you get together and think about having adventures and then there are the actual adventures. Follow? Well, this was more like the first, though we did go on some short expedition hikes in the area. But boy, do we know how to cook some good camp meals! Amber brought the coolest cook set ever, and we put that thing to work. Combined with her awesome bonfire-building skills, Kathleen's s'mores ingredients, and my eating talents... it was one fantastic evening. And that bridge picture? Well, disregard the premature laughing on my part. Getting Callie to face the camera timer was like getting a toddler to sit still in the middle of a toy store. Cheers!
