Well, you win some and you lose some. You have good days and bad. Sometimes things go right according to plan and sometimes it seems they deviate as much as possible from said plan. That's life. I'm learning.
For those who wonder, yesterday's race was a 'not according to plan' experience; in short, I knew my goal time was toast about mile 6 as unwanted muscle cramps became my side-kick for the next 20 miles. And yes, I finished cause I was too stubborn and frustrated not too, but that's not much consolation after 4 months of training. However, I suppose that now I have that much more resolve to redeem myself in the future, for this hopefully won't be my last marathon (although I distinctly remember telling myself about mile 10 that this was on the list of the dumbest things I've ever done). So on to the next race...
Race disappointment aside, the weekend was not a total bust. Great family adventure time, a few unexpected surprises, and certainly came home with stories to tell. And despite the soreness, I continue to enjoy a strong healthy body that many are not blessed with.
Many thanks of course to the support crew: family, friends, and coaches alike. You know who you are. Special kudoos to DonMark, who ran beside me for the last 6 miles ("this is the last hill?"). We'll have him entered in the Half in no time.
Two pairs of shoes…check
Race clothes…check
Rain jacket, sweat pants & gloves…check
Blue bandana…check
Advil…check
Race confirmation and maps…check
Sunglasses…check
Gels and gummi bears…check
GPS, watch & batteries…check
Gatorade and water…check
Unpredictable weather…check
15,000 crazy people…check
Nickson cheering squad (+ canines)…check, check
Ok, let’s do this thing…
6 days. That's all. Not a week. Not 'coming up soon' or 'it'll be here before you know it'. It is here in just 6 days.
6 days until six months of work will all come down to a short span of 4 hours (plus a little). It'll be sink or swim, meet the goal or fall short, win the mind game or lose it. Survive the hills, deal with the weather, endure the wall, and rely on adrenaline and sheer desire & determination when there's nothing left. And then in a split second, along about mile 23, you'll know if it was enough. You'll know if you trained enough, prepared enough, challenged enough, fought hard enough. You'll know if it was worth it.
Daunting. Ready. Doubting. Excited. Rested? (What exactly does 'rested' entail?!) Thankful. Unsure. Not wanting to disappoint. Strengthened. Nervous. Determined. Questioning. Encouraged. Relieved. Scared to death.
But hopeful. Very hopeful.
So it's been awhile since I've posted anything at all, much less anything worth reading. But I'd like to share a few thoughts from our Small Group Bible Study. We meet every Tuesday night and have recently started going through the book of James. Last year we took on Romans, covering a chapter every week or so. The practicality and straightforwardness of James has been a change of pace, one that I'm increasingly excited about.
In chapter 1 we read the well-known verses on facing trials and how we ought to go about that joyfully. I had to admit to the group that trials in my life don't exactly make me a joyful person, much less one of PURE joy. We discussed ways to turn trials into triumphs, how each experience we go through helps our attitude adjust for the next struggle that will inevitably come our way. But the two points I took away from our time are these:
1. Having joy in the middle of our trials is an incredible testimony to those around us. I see this time and again in other people, but hope that I too can seek out the good in everything so that those watching me will see God in me, despite any turmoil at the time.
2. Trials in our lives further God's kingdom. Many times we discover after the fact that God has worked in various situations for good later down the road. It takes time to realize that. But do we stop and consider as we are enduring a trial that God is doing amazing things through it at that very moment?
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In other news, I can't relate the excitement at having this week over with! It's been a tough one, but one of accomplishment and great relief as well. God is good.
Found this quote about long runs in an article the other day and liked it...
"The question of suffering comes up often when you discuss running with those who don't care for it. These people assume that discomfort is compounded by the mile. How to convince them that, in fact, the opposite is true, that there are gains not realized in shorter runs? Time, for one--unfettered time, free from all the technological intrusions that have altered the rhythm of our existence and increased, for many of us, friction. Time to work out your problems. Time to listen. Every run has its own sound track, but long runs are symphonic: The rustle of wind through bare autumn trees, the train a mile away through the swamp, the thrum of an interstate so insulated from the green tunnel of a tow-path that it could well be the sea. And there is the internal rhythm to consider, the way it leaves your body feeling exhausted but sublimely sated, as if the time you spent in rhythmic friction had answered a question you did not even know you had."
