Blog = 100

Gretchen = 0

And so it goes. I really wanted to do the "one thankful thing a day" this month, especially via Instagram as I'm totally addicted, but let's just be honest – I would get maybe 4 days in, miss a day, and totally derail. *Thankfully* I was able to acknowledge that to myself before thinking it would be the best idea ever.

For now, a quick bit on some recent thoughts...

I'm living in great tension lately. It started awhile back, but I haven't put words to it until the last few days or so. (At least, we'll see if I can put words to it or not.) So many things continue to go right here, and I continue to be affirmed – in work, in friendships, in church. But in the midst of all the good and amazing, it's been a hard season. I find myself very vulnerable and open and yet ready to shut down at any given moment to avoid spilling over. I feel as though God is challenging and convicting me, and I'm growing and leaning into Him more than I have in quite some time, but it's so very hard. It's painful. It's humbling. I love it and hate it all at once; I know God is getting my attention in some very needed ways, yet it competes with my "me do it" resolve.

This tension... it's manifested itself in every area of life lately...

...in the coming undone of my typically amazing ability to compartmentalize and accomplish things.

...in the poor handling of relationships, both on my part and the part of others.

...in my drive for perfection, approval-seeking, and fear of failure. And disappointment? I die...!

...in Mercy Project as we grow and become more visible publicly, as we wrestle with perceptions and outside opinions.

...in marathon planning as we aim to go above and beyond for 3,000+ runners but simply can't please every one in every moment.

...in the day-to-day interactions I have with people – wanting to pour into others more than I am and simply not balancing that well with so, so much going on.

But this time, this tension, it's drawing me in. I see the refining and shaping that is taking place – the preference of being closer to the heart of God than exchanging that for perfection and distance. Of course, I'd like to not jinx that and say "bring it on", but there's something so rich about being in a place where, for better or worse, I'm kissing stagnancy goodbye for a bit and diving in to the messy.

And oh, praise God that He deals in the messy. In the broken. In the far-from-having-it-all-together. Praise God for the ways in which He meets us where we are and refines us.


That is right where I want to be.

*****************

Posts on marathon madness, life as of late, a day trip to Dallas, and Thanksgiving festivities to come... eventually.

Cutting it close to get this in, but... a very happy birthday to the coolest SIX-year-old I know. We love you Wyatt Cody and cannot imagine the world without your smile, energy, incredible golf talent, and life-giving personality. And many more...!

I think I've mentioned this idea of "loving people well" on here before. It's a constant work in my heart to really try and meet people where they're at and not where I want them to be or where I think they should be.

I frequent Donald Miller's blog where several folks are now guest posting, and this popped up yesterday: A Tip on Learning How to Love – Dive Into Their World. Instant intrigue and glad I took the time to check it out.

"It’s so easy to love people who like all the same things you do—who never listen to music that makes you cringe, or who believe all the same things you believe. But love sometimes asks you to lay down your preferences, and dive into someone else’s world for a little while... Love asks what's best for the person you love, not what's best or most convenient to you."

A very simple concept, this whole "get outside your comfort zone for someone else idea". I'm just not always good at that. But then I witness people doing that for me, going way out of their way for me, and it makes me want to learn to love others equally well.

It's... let's go where you want to eat today even if it's not my first choice.
It's... my house is your house, towels are laid out, and here's a hot cup of coffee.
It's... I'll change my schedule and cancel my plans to meet your needs.
It's... how are you doing, really, even when I don't want to listen.
It's... my schedule will wait, because you're more important.
It's... we don't always agree, but let's still be the best of friends.
It's... that costs me time and energy, but I'll do it because I know it means much to you.

Little things, little moments making big, big differences.

Happy weekend!

"We are tired of empty rhetoric and stale debates. We want a pro-life politic that looks like Mother Teresa. We want a radical new way of doing business that does not have 5% of the world owning half the world’s stuff. We have the audacity to believe that America can do better than spending 20,000 dollars every second on militarism, as the country goes broke.

We want a new dream – the old American dream is bankrupt.

We are convinced that change is not confined to one day every four years. Change happens every day. We vote with our lives. And we are convinced that voting for a new President may be little more than damage control. For Presidents and Caesars do not save the world. "

Read the rest, by Shane Claiborne... here.

I saved this a few weeks ago as I liked the colors of the print and thought they might be good inspiration for a future art piece. Little did I know how the words would come in handy. But oh, they sure have. So while I'm not there yet, this is where I'd like to be. Maybe I can find some time to paint a little along the way.



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