Last night I joined a few hundred people on a walk to downtown Abilene, sleeping bag in tow. We gathered in a parking lot to sleep for the night, and in doing so, joined tens of thousands of children in Northern Uganda who commute nightly to escape abduction by the rebel army in their country. People in over 130 cities across the country participated in the Global Night Commute to help raise awareness of the situation these children are facing daily. We wrote letters to President Bush and our Senators to tell them why our nation needs to get involved in the lives of the Invisible Children and the war in Uganda. It was really neat to be apart of this event, and I certainly had some interesting thoughts throughout the night.

However, as I was sitting down on the pavement writing my letters with others sleeping around me it occured to me that though we were there 'laying down with the children,' we remained separated by one thing: fear. See, the Ugandan children commute in order to save their very lives, to keep from being forced to fight and kill others. And though we were merely being symbolic in our actions last night, we were able to walk down the street, gather together, laugh and hang out for a few hours, and sleep in peace. We were able to get up this morning and return to our homes and continue on with our lives, not afraid of having to do it all over again come sunset. How much to we take for granted the fact that we can rise each morning and know that our needs will be met for the day, and we don't have to worry about being recruiting for violent action. In fact, we don't have to worry about much except whether to wear the blue or green shirt, whether or not we liked the songs sung at church Sunday morning, and what to eat for supper. That's the beauty of America, right? Land of the free? Cause we've already fought our way to the top, we've already 'won our freedom,' we're all set, so we can go about our lives in comfort and confidence.

But have we thought about why God has allowed us to be so blessed? Could it be that He intended that those who have been given much ought to in turn give graciously to others? Could it be that we are to do all we can to give freedom and hope to those such as the children in Uganda? Even more so, could it be that we should equally open our eyes to those in our own country and reach out to set free those in bondage from their daily struggles and pain? Could it be that there are people next door to you that need a way out of the fear that they live in? Could it be that you have an answer to such freedom?

So I went to the Casting Crowns concert Monday night and have done some thinking. The concert was pretty good overall, the music was incredible, and I really think the musicians had a lot of great things to say through their lyrics. I like that they took some time to explain why they'd written certain songs and where their inspiration came from.

However, I was a bit thrown off in hearing Tony Nolan. Nolan is the Lifesong 'Tour Pastor and Gospel Communicator'. This was a new one for me, I didn't really know what that meant, but apparently he goes on tour with the bands and has a little preaching time during each concert. Well, preach he did... Now this is not me going off on whether I think his words were right or wrong, whether it was 'devout' or 'biblically' correct, merely some thought-provoking ideas since I haven't gotten into that much on here.

So Tony got up there after a few songs and basically talked about the importance of making a decision for Jesus verses going to hell, etc. (motivational speaker style) and ended with asking everyone to repeat a prayer out loud and stand up to proclaim Jesus as their Savior if they felt moved to do so, to make a decision for Jesus; if not, you merely stayed sitting down. For those standing up, he congratulated them on the decision that they made and proceeded to hand out some kind of pamphlet as a follow up. So I went to Nolan's website to see what the 7 day follow up consisted of. Basically, it's a 'jumpstart', a step each day of prayer, avoiding sin, singing, reading your Bible, getting involved with a community of believers, letting go of secret sin, and glorifying God--all while endorsing Casting Crowns and Nolan's journals and messages--ending with "keep this stuff going on in your life and things are going to be awesome." Interesting.

I think Nolan has a lot of good things to say. I really do. I'm not doubting his theological base, cause I agree that these things are all important. But there's something about the whole thing that rubs me the wrong way, though I can't yet put my finger on exactly what that may be. Perhaps it's the way he delivered his message and proclaimed hundreds of people 'saved and going to Heaven' after 10 minutes at an assembly of musical entertainment, and additionally proclaims on his website that '36,000 people have been saved' due to this preaching on the concert tour. (A little fake revivalism, or could that be paralleled to Jesus preaching and thousands being 'added to their number that day'?) Perhaps it's the fact that I don't feel the need to stand up and be separated in a crowd to tell those 'sitting down' that I'm a believer; I want people to know that I am by how I live my life. Perhaps it's because the entire thing came off to me as an evangelical sermon off the latest religious tv channel. But I just think there's more to it than that. There's more to Christianity than a quick-fix of a few simple steps. Is the message of Jesus simple? Sure. But it's not exactly a random decision/action in a momentary high to claim an automatic ticket to Heaven. I'm not one to judge the actions and hearts of people or their intentions, nor attempting to get into the baptism/sinner's prayer/being saved bit by any means. That's up to the far greater Judge. But I'm interested to hear some other opinions on this. Granted, most of you reading this weren't at the concert but what's your take on it? Is the idea of such a message valid? Would it make a difference if the tour is trying to target unbelievers and at least share the message with them or if they're trying to reach the 'church crowd'? I encourage you to look at Nolan's website and check out his 7-day devotional document and consider it. Just thought I'd throw that out there, see if we can get some feedback....

Wow, what a weekend.... full of much-needed quality family time (beautiful roses, breakfast with M & Glenn, walking the dogs, church together Sunday morn, and good conversation), allergies (the meds finally kicked in today), talking with friends I hadn't seen in a while (surprises, coldstone, the lake, a little golf, a concert or two, and some prayer time), beginning to catch up on sleep (by skipping more class...), and most of all, not a single bit of schoolwork (well, til final projects). Senior Show turned out great, better than I hoped for. Thanks to everyone who came; I was blessed to have so many friends and family come and support me and my crazy artwork. The only thing that could've made it better was to have it last longer. Seems like you work so hard for so long and then suddenly it's all over with so fast. I think I've been feeling that a lot lately. Graduation looms near, less than 3 weeks, and it's hard to think about leaving all of this for I don't even know what yet! Things have slowed down so much in the last few days, and I am incredibly grateful for that. Just a few projects left to throw together for finals and it'll be time to walk across that stage. But I've decided that school takes the backseat from here on out, cause at this point, well....who really cares? So the next three weeks will be devoted to A) finding a job and trying to plan the next steps in life, B) spending as much time as I possibly can with friends who I will miss greatly in a few weeks, C) hopefully getting back to a consistant schedule of sleeping, eating, and running, and D) getting my heart and mind ready for the most amazing summer of my life. So here we go...

Exciting news of the week: I'm gonna be an aunt! That's right, DM and Em are gonna have a baby around the end of November. How exciting it is to think that we'll soon have a new addition to the Nickson clan! Just when we thought the dogs were enough to keep up with... Please keep the new little one in your prayers, as well as the proud parents.

We fail to realize sometimes how blessed we are to be able to raise a child in a good Christian home. To know that God-willing that child will be able to grow up healthy, eat three meals a day, go to school, have the support of both parents, be able to go to the doctor when needed, and live in a safe house. But what about the children who aren't priveleged to those things? Some food for thought....

28% of children under 18 in the US live in a single-parent household
Number of children in the world: 2.2 billion
Number in poverty: 1 billion (every second child)
30,000 children die each day due to poverty

For the 1.9 billion children from the developing world, there are:
640 million without adequate shelter (1 in 3)
400 million with no access to safe water (1 in 5)
270 million with no access to health services (1 in 7)
Children out of education worldwide: 121 million

Also found this of interest...
Global Priority in $U.S. Billions
Cosmetics in the United States:8
Ice cream in Europe:11
Perfumes in Europe and the United States:12
Pet foods in Europe and the United States:17
Business entertainment in Japan:35
Cigarettes in Europe:50
Alcoholic drinks in Europe:105
Narcotics drugs in the world:400
Military spending in the world:780

And compare that to what was estimated as additional costs to achieve universal access to basic social services in all developing countries:
Global Priority in $U.S. Billions
Basic education for all:6
Water and sanitation for all:9
Reproductive health for all women:12
Basic health and nutrition:13

Hmmm......

Easter has come and gone, and I'm currently trying to throw everything together for my Senior Show on Friday night. It will be worth the work, but such a relief to have over with. Finished my series tonight which is a huge milestone, and I am excited to see what others will think of it. The last few days have been difficult. Lots of unexpected things happened that left me feeling like I'd been run over by a truck. Not always the best feeling. But I guess I can sum it all up by saying that people make mistakes. Everyone does. And that's ok because if we were all perfect, we wouldn't need to rely on God. But the tough part about messing up is that you can never undo what's been done. Can't take away the words you said that you maybe should've kept to yourself, the doubts that ran through your mind, your actions and later guilt. But praise God for helping us grow in these situations. For teaching us to value our friendships and a listening ear, for showing us that we still have a lot to learn, for giving us such amazing grace. So after today, I can only say that in regards to situation 1: I'm sorry it happened and I earnestly hope this won't change anything. Godly friends are rare, and I aim to keep the ones I have been blessed with, regardless. And as for situation 2: I'm here for you, you were forgiven before it even happened, and the grace of God is astounding. Best part about mistakes is that we get to wake up in the morning and start all over, and as we learn, we draw nearer to God every moment. I do like that part very much.

I'm remembering past Easter moments....egg hunting with the cousins...thinking the "Easter Bunny" at the mall was always really creepy...counting hats at church Sunday morning...my grandmother M painting a different wooden egg for each of the grandkids with our favorite cartoon charactor or animal on it...taking pictures in our Easter finest...and then there was that one year when the meaning of Easter became real to me for the first time.

I was on a junior high retreat at our youth minister's parents' house out in the country somewhere. We'd gone to hang out for the weekend, attempted to sleep outside under the stars and got rained on in the middle of the night. (All those great youth group moments.) Then Sunday morning our youth minister Brad had hidden plastic eggs all over the house and yard area for us to find. So we hunted down all the eggs, brought them back inside and realized they were numbered on the outside. Brad proceeded with a devo using the eggs to illustrate the life of Jesus. One by one, each egg was opened in order, revealing something that symbolized a part of the life of Jesus--some straw for a manger, a plastic lamb, a nail. But then there was the last egg. And it was empty. Of course it stood for the empty tomb, and I can't remember all that was said in the lesson, but for some reason that empty egg made am impact on me. Years later, after being at Camp of the Hills and witnessing the reenactment of the crucifixion and resurrection, the story of the risen Christ is more real than ever before. For it's not in the crucifixion that we put our hope in everyday, though it's quite important, but rather in that morning 3 days later. It's a shame that we focus so much on the death of Jesus rather than his defiance of death. Perhaps that's why we so often lose our joy unless we're reminded of it with eggs, hats, and bunnies. So even though this weekend will be full of those things, remember the power of our Risen Lord on Monday morning....in a month....in October....everyday....

So I was driving home from New Life tonight around 8:15. But it wasn't just the average Tuesday night drive. I got to witness one of the most beautiful sunsets ever. Now, I'm a sucker for sunsets and to be honest, they're not so good in the city. If you're going to truely appreciate God painting the sky, you better be out in the country or in the mountains where there are no power lines within at least 20 miles. But I was struck by the image that God saw fit to put in my day to cause me to pause and be reminded of His presence.

Later this evening I got a phone call from a friend who's really having a hard time right now. 19, parents are split up, financially responsible for a lot of things that he shouldn't have to be worried about right now, longing for so much more; yet he has the greatest outlook on life of just about anyone I've known. He's so positive about the situation he finds himself in and just lives for finding out how God will use him next. I also think of some kids from camp and the situations they've been dealt, the ones put in homes or born into a lifestyle completely out of their control, yet who do long to do what is right. And the question continues to resurface in my mind, Why? Why is it that those who are most faithful to God have to struggle so much, yet those who seem to have everything don't care at all?

And I think God answers in His own unique way. He reminds me that once again we must learn that life is not fair. That we are here to help the very people who need it most with the blessings we've been given. We must learn that the more we come to despise the ways of the world and the way Satan attacks people, the more we'll long for God's ways and look forward to our Heavenly home. And finally, God put a beautiful sunset in the sky tonight to remind us once more of His faithfulness.

I hate being so busy. I hate that school has to consume me right now. I hate that 2 am has become an early bedtime. I hate having to drag myself out of bed and straight to the coffee pot every morning. I hate how I've put time with God aside and how my Tuesday night Bible class has become a requirement instead of something to look forward to. I hate having to miss weekly dinner at DM and Em's. I hate not having time to sit down and share a meal with my roommates or friends. But most of all, I hate how selfish the last two weeks have made me. How I've been so enamored with getting my own things done, that I've forgotten to stop and ask others about their daily walk. To encourage those that just need a kind word and to simply be there to listen. I've grown selfish.

So to my roommates . . . couldn't have made it through the last two weeks without you guys; the cheesy chicken awaits us . . . as does 'National Mom's Day'! To the fam . . . you guys are amazing, thanks for the blueprints-for my project and for life. Happy Birthday to Stacey! Blessings to you! Chris, hope the soccer game was sick. Katy . . . my confidante and uplifter, the horse whisperer is in full force and Rosewood is all around you. Hi to M and Glenn . . . can't wait to see the new place. To an anonymous art teacher . . . this is ridiculous. Abbbbbyyyyyyy!!!! Hats off to the gormet chef. Ben . . . what are we doing with our lives? Amazing things, I am certain. And to everyone . . . Thanks for bearing with me amidst the stress. And . . . how was your day? What can I do to help you or pray about for you? Much love.